Life In The Office

Michael’s ex-girlfriend, Jan Levinson is about to give birth to a baby that she conceived (while dating Michael) through a sperm-donor. If that’s not crazy enough, Michael feels somehow connected to this unborn child, and decides to throw Jan a baby shower at the office. Most of the staff thinks Michael is crazy to be acting as a father figure to this unborn baby. Or as Jim puts it in his talking-head, complete with chart, “this baby is related to Michael through delusion”.

Dwight however is happy to aid Michael in his delusion. He and Michael are practicing birthing scenarios, so that Michael can be prepared for every possible birth situation. Sounds like he’s just being prepared right? Um…NO! Dwight’s idea of helping cover possible birth scenarios is a demonstration, complete with watermelon. That’s right, I said watermelon! Oh, and did I mention that Dwight was up on Michael’s desk, pants down, screaming and yelling to give fake-birth to said watermelon?! Sorry if you were eating while reading that, but you need the full set-up to appreciate the horror of that scene. lol Yes, it was pretty bad. But, just then it gets worse. Cut to a talking-head for Michael, eating the watermelon, while Dwight is in the background zipping up the fly of his pants. So…just…EWW!

So, Michael is excited for Jan’s baby shower. He’s got the party planning committee getting it all set up. He has pink and blue M&M’s ordered with the names that Jan picked out. “Chevy” for a boy, and “Astird” for a girl. The PPC (party planning committee) is confused about the girl’s name choice (think phonetically) but Michael insists that is what Jan wants. lol

Surveying the room, Michael is unimpressed. All that’s out is a few decorations and the bowls of M&M’s. He gets on Phyllis’s case, because she’s the new head of the PPC. Michael says to Phyllis, “When you go married we gave you a golden shower. Well you know what, where’s my golden shower, Phyllis?” lol. I’m actually surprised that line made it past the censors.

Then Phyllis gets her own talking-head. Answering the question, does she like being head of the PPC? She replies, “Yes, I am enjoying being head of the PPC. I’m no longer under Angela’s heel, and her little grape-head is under mine”. Wow!! Grape-head?! Go get her fiesty Phyllis. Meow!

Meanwhile on the phone, Jim is trying to catch up with Pam who is still at Art School in NYC. She’s only got a few minutes before she has to go and she’s trying to relay her day to her sweetie. Only, he’s getting confused about all the names and details of the new experiences Pam is having. At one point, she tells him, “Sarah Kia comes in” and he asks, “who is Sarah Kiacoming?” It’s obvious that they’re just not connecting and that her being away is putting a bit of a strain on their relationship, as distance can tend to do. Sorry JAM fans, but it had to be said.

Back to Michael. He decides to confide in Holly that while Jan is in the office for her shower, he will need to be “cold” toward Holly. Why? Well, as he so deftly explains it, (and I am paraphrasing here) “Jan is in the terminal stages of her pregnancy. She’s incredibly fat and enormous right now and extrememly unattractive. And you are one of the more attractive people in the office. I am going to be cold toward you to pay respect to her bloated feelings and I’m treating Ryan the same way“. lol. I love how they include that last bit about his man-crush on Ryan, and best of all that Holly doesn’t even flinch when he says it. They are just too in-sync.

Next Stanley gets his own talking-head (yea!) and he is unhappy that there will be a pregnant woman in the office. Why? Well, pregnant women are complainers. Yes, that’s right Stanley, the king of complaining, is mad that a pregnant woman might be complaining around him! lol During his rant he says, “You think my nipples don’t get sore? You think I don’t need to know the fastest route to the hospital?” Classic…

Then, in walks Jan. And…she’s carrying a baby! Yeppers, she had the baby and never told Michael! Then has the nerve to show up for her baby shower. Guess all that Dwight delivering a watermelon stuff was for nothing. Go figure. lol

Michael is obviously upset, but tries to make the best of it. Jan tells him that her birth coach thought it was wize not to include him. Michael then begins to lament about how “that guy didn’t get his jokes” and that “he proved him wrong countless times”. You can just imagine this scenario and how annoying Michael must have been to be banned from the birth. Anyway, Jan is there with baby girl Astrid (not As-tird, lol). She asks if Michael wants to hold the baby, but will only let him “hold her” with her still in the car seat. Oh boy…:)

Off to the shower. Michael, still holding Astrid in her car seat, starts off by holding her up over his head in reference to Disney’s The Lion King. So, Jan takes the baby back (shocker!).

Kevin is upset because all the games they had planned for the shower are ruined because the baby is already born. Michael takes offense to this and says, “the baby multiplies the fun”. So Kevin begins the games, the first one being, “who wants to guess when the baby will be born?” lol

On to the gifts. The group pitched in and bought her a stroller. Turns out though Jan already has a stroller that she came in the office with. And, as Kelly points out, “the stroller that we got her is way worse than the one she came in with”. Ok, strike two for the awesome baby shower Michael had planned.

Then it’s pointed out that the stroller that Jan already has it top of the line, valued in fact at $1200.00! Dwight is aghast. He says, “$1200.00 is what I spent on my first bomb shelter. For that kind of money that stroller should be indestructable”. lol He then decides to make it his mission to see if this $1200.00 stroller is indeed indestructable through a series of “Dwight tests” throughout the episode. These tests start off with hurling the stroller against a fence and end with dragging it through the parking lot on the bumper of his car. Dwight, Dwight, Dwight…tsk, tsk!

Meanwhile, the nightmare of a shower is still happening. Jan is now sitting cross-legged on the floor singing “Son of a Preacher Man” to the baby? herself? the group? Who knows? Either way, according to Jim, it’s been going on over twenty minutes…  The group is getting restless. Andy then chimes in with, “tell us about the birth”.

Turns out, Jan had a “water birth”. Everyone immediatly starts questioning her about it. She tells them it’s very sanitary. Kelly asks, “so it’s all just all in the water?” Creed replies (with my favorite quote of the episode), “Must have been like the tide at Omaha beach”. OMG and LOL. So gross and funny too!

Finally, the shower ends. Jan thanks everyone and then agrees to let Michael hold Astrid as a thank you for the “wonderful” shower while she takes a quick cat nap to catch up on sleep. Weird? Certainly, but not totally out of the ordinary for a mother of a newborn. Anyway, Michael holds the baby and is perplexed that he doesn’t feel an immediate connection to her when he loves babies so much. He hands Phyllis Astrid and heads off to the warehouse to contemplate this.

Seated with Darryl and the other workers, Michael begins to lament about being a “baby daddy”. He’s upset that he doesn’t feel connected to Astrid. Darryl sets him straight saying, “you should stop calling yourself a baby daddy”. Michael replies, “Why, because I am quote-white-unquote?” lol  But Darryl patiently explains that Michael feels no connection because he is not connected to Astrid in any way. It finally seems to sink it for Michael. And as usual, Darryl is The Man.

Back in the office, Jan wakes up and Holly is right near her. They begin small talk that I think makes it obvious to Jan that Holly and Michael have alot in common. My evidence? Her goofy responses to Jan’s question, “where’s Astrid”. Holly’s response, “She’s on a sales call. Wah-wah, I need paper. Wah-wah!!” Totally goofy response, like Michael would give. Jan just looks at her, but I believe that she would have made that connection. As a woman who worked with Michael for years, dated him, lived with him, she’s see the connection…Call me crazy, many people do, but I still think I’m right.

And where is Astrid? With Angela, who has Andy helping her put produce all over the baby to take a photo. You know Angela and her babies-doing-adult-things fetish. Remember the famous “babies playing music poster” that Oscar and her feuded about in “Conflict Resolution”? Yep, seems Angela still has her love of all things baby/adult and she’s now branching out into Anne Geddes influences. Andy says, the photo shoot is titled, “natures bounty”. lol  Jan doesn’t approve and ends the “shoot”.

It’s finally time for Ms. Levinson to leave. Michael walks her out. Dwight took the liberty of putting her stroller in her trunk for her. lol He forgets to tell her that it was road-tested first. Anyway, on the way out the door, Jan tells Michael he can do one thing for her. Don’t date Holly. See?! More evidence! She definitely sensed something or else why would she have said that?!

Michael says yes, but then goes right back inside and hugs Holly. Yea!!! Then, he asks her out, and she says yes. Why? In a talking-head he reveals, “I didn’t feel much when I held Astrid, but I got a good feeling from Holly”. Awww!!! Too cute.

The show winds up with Pam and Jim still trying to connect via phone. Only this time they’re leaving simultanious voice-mail messages on each other’s cell phone. And, to make it even cuter, their conversations almost mirror each other! Say it with me people, AWWW! See? Even though they’ve felt out of sync all day with each other, they’ve really all along been totally connected. Very nice…

 The End!

Overall, I liked the episode. I’m very happy with the first three episodes of this season. Not one stinker in the bunch.

Thanks so much for reading my recap everyone, and those of you who frequent this site will notice that I am super-prompt this week, so I will be waiting for my gold-stars. lol  Nah, just kidding. Just comment and that will suffice. ~Donna