Life In The Office

This episode’s cold-open starts off the main premise of the show. Oscar is in Michael’s office giving him the overall budget for the fiscal year. He lets Michael know that the branch has a surplus in the budget for $4300.00. If they don’t spend it by the end of the day, it will be deducted from next year’s budget. Michael is a bit confused by this. He tells Oscar, “why don’t you explain it to me like I am an eight year old”. So, Oscar dumbs it down for him a bit. Michael still looks befuddled. He tells Oscar, “explain it to me like I am five”. ha ha  So, Oscar gives him an even dumber version of how a surplus works. Finally, Michael gets it? Well, not really, but he decides to pretend to!

 Oscar than explains that he should buy a new copier with the surplus because the office copier is horrid. Michael likes this. All his decisions are made for him and he’s the good guy in the scenario. Win-win! So, he goes out to the office to tell “the gang” the good news.

Pam immediately pipes up that if there is a surplus then what they really need are new chairs. Remember, Ms. Beesley has been asking for a new chair for a long time. This whole subject was covered already in the “Chair Model” episode last season.  And poor Pam still doesn’t have her new chair. Now that she’s heard about the surplus, she’s determined to get her chair!

Oscar, however, doesn’t agree. He sticks to his guns that they need a new copier. Now Michael is frowning. What happened to his being the good guy? Now there is a dilemma. And we all know how Michael handles dilemma’s. That’s right, in the worst way possible. lol

The staff starts picking sides in the debate; chairs or a copier? Stanley and Meredith are with Pam. They want new chairs. But, surprise, surpise! Jim is with Oscar…Yes! Seems Mr. Halpert makes his own copies because he feels funny asking his fiance Pam to do it for him. And because he does this, he knows how terrible the copier is. He decides to publically side with Oscar in the debate. Meredith is impressed with Jim’s bravado, telling him, “Jim, I can’t believe you stood up to Pam like that. Good for you.” Then Creed chimes in, shaking his head in admiration, ”The balls on you man”.

Is Jim worried about siding against his love? Nah. They don’t have to agree on everything do they? But you can tell by his expression in his talking head that even he’s a bit concerned.

The next scene is of Andy, Angela and Dwight finalizing plans for their upcoming wedding at Schrute Farms. It seems the directions that Dwight has given them for their guests are not exactly up to snuff for the happy couple. An example of the directions he gave is to “walk until you hear the beehive”. Dwight doesn’t get their objection, scoffing at them and saying, “how can it be more clear?” Typical Dwight. But Andy’s not worried. Seems he and the future misses are headed out to the farm with Dwight to go over all the last minute stuff. They’ll take care of the directions snafu then.

Andy then tells us in a talking-head that he and Angela are definitely getting hitched at Schrute Farms. “I’ve booked twelve venues, lost eight deposits, and have seen Angela naked zero times. We are having it at Schrute Farms.” Poor sexually-frustrated Andy. He’s playing by all the rules, but he still doesn’t get that in this game, Angela’s cheating.

Back at the office, Pam finds Jim in the break room and sweetly asks him to reconsider rooting for the copier team. Just as sweetly, Jim declines. He really wants a new copier. Pam asks him again, in a firmer tone, to reconsider. Jim asks her, “are you threatening me Beesely?” Pam gets all lovey-dovey and comes over to gently cup her lover’s face. She says, “Jim I’m not threatening you. I love you. But, you should know you’re on very dangerous ground.” Then she kisses him and walks out. Oh boy! In a funny talking-head with Jim, put in right after this scene, he shudders. lol

Back at Schrute Farms, the couple is touring the barn with Dwight who is explaining how things will look and go on their wedding day. Andy gently asks, “what’s that smell?” Angela replies, “it’s manure” and rolls her eyes. She then looks at Dwight and says, “Get rid of it”. Dwight calmly replies, “the manure covers up the smell of the slaughter house”. Angela is horrified, “do you have to slaughter on our wedding day?!” Dwight calmly replies, “You want to eat don’t you?” Oh man, you knew this wasn’t going to go smoothly. But clueless Andy is determined. THIS IS his wedding spot!! He attempts to make the situation go his bride’s way by offering more money if Dwight can hold off slaughtering the day of the ceremony. He gently asks him if he could slaughter the entrees the day before the wedding? Dwight reluctantly agrees. Andy is elated. Then he steps in manure. ha ha

Back at the office, Pam is in Michael’s office, reminding him of his promise to get her a new chair that was never full-filled. In pops Oscar, who asks Michael to lunch. Michael very happily says “Yes!”. Then, in pops Jim, who asks to join them for lunch. Now, Michael is really excited. And now Pam gets it. They’re taking Michael to lunch to push him to get the copier. They are going to use the male-bonding that Michael craves to get what they want. Those sneaky guys!!

Pam replies in a talking-head. “So, that’s how they want to play it? It’s on. Oh, it’s so ON!!!” Then we see her putting on red lipstick and fluffing up her hair. She tells the camera, “I really need a new chair. How is it possible that in the last five years, I’ve had two engagement rings and only one chair?”

Jim, Oscar and Michael come back from lunch. They’re laughing and slapping each other on the back. It’s clear their manipulation worked and that Michael has a blast. Jim, swaggers up to Pam’s desk, confident in his win, and gives her a peace offering. He says, “I got you some tiramisu. No hard feelings?” Pam smiles sweetly and says, “Aww! That’s good stuff.” Then, with sweet smile still plastered on her face, dumps it in the garbage can. Jim doesn’t get mad, he just looks her over, checking out the lipstick and hair, and says, “you look really pretty”. Pam offers a weak, “thank you” and bounces off into Michael’s office to work her magic.

Pam wastes no time manipulating Michael. She is a flirt-machine. Complimenting him and buttering him up. She even admires his $4.00 TJ Maxx tie. Michael eats it all up like he’s being spoon-fed. And in a way, I guess he is! She then works in her argument for the new chairs again and satisfied that her side will be victorious, goes back to her desk.

Michael heads out of his office and on the way, everyone is now complimenting and doing nice things for him. Seems the whole staff is getting in on the manipulating Michael game. They’re all trying to score points for their “sides”. At Dunder-Mifflin Scranton, you’re either “team chairs” or “team copier”. (Except Toby, who’s “team clean air.) Oops! I forgot to mention that earlier Toby piped up his opinion with what should be done about the surplus. He thought they should get the office air tested because it was known to be full of pollutants and was possibly a “silent killer”.Michael shut him up quick with a curt response, ”You’re the silent killer. Go back to your annex”. ha ha! How could I have forgotten that?

Anyway, flip back to Schrute Farms. The trio (plus Mose) are all at Dwight’s kitchen table going over more specifics. Dwight wants to know what animal Angela wants for the butter sculpture; cow, goat or sheep. Angela, of course, wants a cat. Dwight thinks that ridiculous. They argue. Andy, once again determined to keep peace and make this venue their wedding site, smooths it all over. Then, he steps in manure for the second time, complaining to Dwight, “why is this in HERE?” lol, yeah really? Why is there poo in the kitchen? Maybe Angela should reconsider this Dwight infatuation? The man keeps poop on the kitchen floor for God’s sake! I know it’s a farm, but come on!! Eww…

Back to the office. Pam is making copies. Jim is watching her. The copier chews up her original, and makes crooked copies. Jim smirks and says smugly, “you might consider changing teams. We’d love to have you.” Pam replies, “No, copier’s good. I have my copies and I have my original, so suck it!” Then she saunters off. War’s still on!

Back again to the farm. Dwight has fixed up the barn and is ready to show it. Angela and Andy are thrilled. Angela especially. Her face is lit up with happiness at how beautiful it is. At the front of the aisle is a minister. Dwight tells them they should run through how the service will go so they can make sure that everything is to their liking. In the run-through scenario, Dwight tells Andy to be the father-of-the-bride and he will be the groom. This way, Andy can better see how it will all look. They all agree and up the aisle everyone marches. At the front of the aisle, Angela tries to introduce herself to the minister. But Dwight explains that he only speaks German. So, he translates for him as the minister goes through the wedding scenario. Dwight (as the groom) and Angela say their fake I-do’s, and the run through is complete.

As you watch them say their “vows”, you can see how happy Angela is. This is how she envisioned her dream wedding. And standing before her is her dream groom, Dwight. Her eyes are literally shining with happy tears. The whole thing is just tragically sad. But you can’t help but smile at Angela’s happiness at that moment.

When they all leave the barn, Angela pulls Dwight aside for a private moment. It’s then she tells him that she’s finally realized she’s made a mistake and is marrying the wrong man. Dwight is thrilled! He tells her he knew she would feel this way. And that’s why he took the liberty of “fixing things”. Fixing things?! When Angela get’s a puzzled look and questions what he means by that, Dwight calmly explains that the fake scenario wedding was actually REAL and that he and Angela are now legally wed!

Huh? That’s right, kids! Mr. and Mrs. Dwight Schrute. The German minister was actually reciting real wedding vows in German and both Dwight and Angela said “I do”, and clueless Andy acted as their witness. In fact, Dwight pushed a “receipt” at him to sign, which he did. In reality, it was a witness certificate to the marriage of Angela and Dwight!! Holy Toledo, Batman!! Who saw that coming? Certainly not I…

Angela is mortified! This is NOT how everything is supposed to go. She’s super-pissed at Dwight. She tells him that she’s NOT married to him and storms off. Clueless Andy follows her out.

Back again at the office, Michael is on the phone with CEO David Wallace. He wants his opinion on what to do with the surplus money. David tells him that if it was him, he’d take the bonus. Huh?! What bonus?! Seems Michael is entitled to 15% of any budget monies not spent during the fiscal year. And, what’s 15% of $4300.00? Why, it’s $645.00! Uh-oh, seems the chair/copier debate might be over after all. Michael tells the camera, “I really hate to disappoint everyone, but I love Burlington Coat Factory. You go in there with $645.00 and you’re literally a king.” ha ha (I love Burlington Coat factory too! But, I’ve never spent even close to $645.00 in there. Not yet anyway…lol)

Coming out of his office, Michael decides to try to convince everyone that they really don’t need new chair or a new copier. He tries the copier and pronounces it wonderful. Then he tries Pam’s chair and tells the staff, “I like the chair. It’s eurkel-nomically correct. (lol) I think we’re spoiled. We have too much. Do you think children in Africa have chairs? No. They sit on piles of garbage”. classic…:)

Oscar listens to this ridiculous speech and smells a rat. He realizes that Michael somehow found out about the 15% bonus back. Now the staff is really irate. They want their chair and or copier and are really mad that Michael is considering giving himself a bonus instead. What’s an incompetent boss to do? Bring in an unqualified source to do his job, that’s what!

Enter security guard Hank. Michael has given him the sole responsibility of picking sides. Hank mulls it over, and seems to really want to make the right choice. He certainly puts more thought into it than Michael does. But, in the end, Michael is unhappy with Hank and sends him away. Seems Michael will have to be the boss and do it himself after all. Or…will he?

Michael decides to trick the staff into allowing him his bonus. He pits the whole office against each other. They must come to an agreement by the end of the day or else he will take the bonus. He is confident that this will work to his advantage and everyone will still love him (not!) But before he can finish patting himself on the back Oscar and Pam come in and announce that they’ve made their decision. They’re picking the chairs. Oscar says, “I figured I’d rather have new chairs than nothing.”

Next scene is Michael in a ridiculously big and bushy new fur coat, telling the camera man that he should never have bought a fur coat on a credit card that he can’t pay off.  Then the camera pans down further to reveal that the coat is full of red paint. Michael sighs, and explains that another thing he should have realized is that some people think it’s funny to splash fake blood all over new fur coats from Burlington Coat Factory. lol

Back in the office, Andy is eating his lunch when Angela comes in and in full-view of everyone, makes out with him. This is all obviously for Dwight’s benefit. After she wipes the kiss off her mouth, she storms off, telling Andy that she has, “some legal matter to take care of”. Guess Miss Martin is getting a divorce? Guess we’ll have to wait and see on that one.

The final scene is Jim coming up to Pam’s desk and asking for a truce. Pam agrees, saying, “Yes, I guess. Because I won”. Jim smiles and walks towards her desk, papers in hand. He tells her in a serious voice, “I’m gonna need three copies of this collated and stapled.” Pam’s face deflates.  Jim says, “Just kidding”. He then smiles again, and leans across her counter for a kiss. But before his lips touch hers, he slides the papers across her desk and whispers, “I’m gonna need four copies”. Ouch! Score one for Jim-bo!!

Pam looks shocked. He beat her at her own game. ha ha. Good for Jim. Guess he won’t be Pam’s puppet during their marriage after all. He may love her to pieces, but he still has his back-bone!

And there you have it folks. Jim has “hand”, and Dwight and Angela are married! Crazy, funny stuff! I liked it. It was a good solid episode. Much better than the last two. What did you think? Weigh-in with your thoughts. And as always, thanks for reading!

~Donna