“Stress Relief” ~ Donna’s Recap

Wow! What an amazing episode. So many good scenes. Well, except for that god-awful pirated “movie” (more rant on that later). Oh! And there was some really nice JAM stuff to boot. Good times, good times…

Ok, let’s begin the break-down.

This cold-open was just amazing. It starts off with Dwight secretly lighting fires throughout the office. He explains to the camera-man that since no one listened to his lecture on fire safety, he feels they need for a real-life demonstration, telling the camera, “today…smoking will save lives”.

At first no one even notices the smoke billowing around. Dwight tries clearing his throat to get their attention. Finally, Pam notices the smoke and then the panic begins. As they workers try to leave the office, Dwight is right there telling (quizzing?) them on their fire safety knowledge. Did they check the door handle to see if it’s hot? Did they call 911? The group flounders from one way out to the next, finding ALL the handles hot (oh, Dwight!). And how about those phones? Yep…all dead. Wonder how that could have happened?! lol

In the panic we see that Angela keeps a cat (Bandit) in a file drawer at work. Oscar tries to find an escape route through the ceiling tiles. Kevin decides to stock up on emergency food supplies by breaking all the glass on the vending machines. Michael is screaming obscenities at everyone. It’s complete and utter chaos.

Dwight takes this opportunity to blow an airhorn to let everyone know that this was a drill on fire safety and they all failed miserably. Just then, Stanley drops over. Is he dead? Michael thinks so. He screams at the prone man, “Stanley don’t die! Barack is president!” lol

Turns out, Stanley had a heart attack. And surprise, surprise, Michael and Dwight are called into corporate to answer for Dwight’s fire safety “drill”. Of course, neither of them is contrite. In fact, Dwight is already planning his “bomb scare” drill for his co-workers. Realizing that maybe Dwight is a tad out of line (ya think?), Michael strips him of his “safety officer” title. Explaining his reasons in a talking-head, Michael says, “Nobody should go to work thinking this is the place I might die today. That’s what a hospital is for”.

Michael takes over Dwight’s role as safety officer. He doesn’t fare much better. His first order of business is to try and get a CPR dummy so the staff can practice. But then he gets mad when the Red Cross insists his dummy come with a certified CPR instructor. He grumbles, “the Red Cross, what a racket!”

The CPR instructor has the staff in the conference room, reviewing techniques. Trying to show them how to resuscitate a victim, she begins chest compressions. Then, she asks Kevin to take over. He does, then says in an exasperated, tired voice, “I can’t keep doing this”. The instructor replies, “it’s been 20 seconds”. ha ha! Kevin’s reply?! “Call it”. <em>Gotta love Kevin!!</em>

Realizing that this group is <em>definitely</em> going to need some extra help, the instructor asks Michael that CPR compressions should be about 100 beats per minute. She explains that a good way to insure you’re doing it right is to compress along to the tune of “Staying Alive” to get the 100 beats in. Michael lights up and tells her, “I love that song!”. Then he starts compressing and singing, “I Will Survive” by mistake. lol

Keeping a straight face, the instructor gently corrects him and compresses the dummy while singing the opening bars of “Staying Alive”. Right away, Andy chimes in. Kelly gets up and starts dancing. Michael gets up and starts dancing too. That poor instructor. She was <em>this</em> close, but alas, she lost them.

Sick of all this, Dwight jumps up, and ignoring the CPR lady, tries to resume his safety-officerness by barking out questions to the staff on what to do next. As in, what to do next since the dummy is obviously dead. Phyllis says, “bury him?” Nope, wrong answer! Dwight says, “check for an organ donor card”. Creed pipes up, “He has no wallet, I checked.” lol Dwight then begins “harvesting” the CPR dummy’s organs. He even goes so far as to rip off the plastic “face” of the dummy and put it over his face, ala “Silence of the Lambs”. And so…back to corporate Michael and Dwight go…lol

Obviously they are none-to-happy with either Dwight or Michael at this point. Michael, realizing what a mess he and Dwight have made decides to make it his agenda to relieve the stress of his co-workers and make the office a more peaceful environment. And you and I both know, that when Michael sets his mind to something, it never ends well. But, it does usually end funny!

On a different plot-line, Pam and Jim are watching a bootlegged movie with Andy. Why, you may ask? Well, in a talking-head America’s cutest couple explains that they don’t know how to download the movies, but Andy does. So, if they want to see the pirated movies, they also have to endure Andy’s company. Or, as Pam puts it, “the punishment fits the crime”.

The pirated movie idea is funny, but the mini-movie itself is horrid. It stars Jack Black, Cloris Leachmen, and Jessica Alba. The premise is that Jack Black is dating Jessica Alba, but when she brings him home to meet her grandmother (Cloris Leachman), he falls in love with her instead. It’s alot of ageism jokes and is basically sick and stupid, in my opinion at least. Or maybe, I just don’t appreciate the humor in seeing Jack Black make-out with Cloris Leachmen. I mean, if that’s your bag who am I to judge, right?

Moving on…lol

Within the same plot line, we find out that Pam’s parents are fighting. In fact, Pam’s dad is currently staying with them at their house. Jim and Pam are quietly discussing this while they watch the movie with Andy in the break-room. Wanting to keep Pam’s parent’s business private, they tell Andy that they’re discussing the movie. Andy buys it, and is even impressed with their “insight” into the relationships in the movie.

Pam is obviously upset by this turn of events in her family’s life. She is even more distressed that her dad isn’t talking to her about it. Turns out though, that dad IS talking to Jim. Pam begs Jim to talk to her dad about the problems he and her mom are having. Jim doesn’t want to, but of course agrees to make his sweetie happy.

Back from corporate, Michael is ready to begin his de-stressing of the office. Dwight is not happy. Corporate has forced him to “state his regret” for his actions to his coworkers in writing. He does (only because he’s forced) and then they need to sign it. Phyllis refuses saying, “you almost killed Stanley”. Dwight response? “Oh yeah, like I filled him with butter and sugar for the last 50 years and forced him not to excercise.” Dwight ~ NOT a man of compassion.

Ready to de-stress everyone, Michael begins a meditation session in the conference room. Everyone is on the floor and Michael is chanting “Ohm”. In walks Meredith, who sits down right in front of him and crosses her legs in her skirt. Michael is immediately disgusted. Still chanting, he adds these words, “My god, if you’re wearing a dress please keep your knees together. Nobody wants to see that, Ohm…” lol

He then has everyone lying on the floor on their backs in the dark, while he walks around them holding a meditation candle (Serenity by Jan, perhaps?) He asks them to visualize themselves eating their favorite ice cream. Meredith says aloud, “chunky monkey”. Michael shuts her down, “No, too expensive”. ha ha I guess you can only visualize stuff on sale in this economy… Stanley says, “chocolate”. Michael tells him that, “racism is dead now. you can have any ice cream flavor you want”. ha ha

All of the sudden, we hear a beeping sound. What could it be? It’s Stanley’s stress monitor. It beeps when his heart-rate climbs too high, so he can calm himself down. And everytime Michael comes near him, it starts beeping!

Realizing his presence is what is making the machine start beeping, Michael tells Oscar, “would you reach over and touch his thing?” The “thing” being the stress monitor. But that doesn’t stop Michael from taking the TWSS, or in this case TWHS (that’s what HE said). lol Explaining to everyone, “Right guys? Because of gay?”

Back in Beesley’s world. Pam’s mom called and said that after Jim spoke with her dad, he decided to go and find an apartment. He wants to seperate from Pam’s mom! Pam is devistated. What could Jim have said to make this happen?

In a talking-head, Jim says, “50% of marriages end in divorce. So, it was her parents or my parents.” wow! cold brother…

In her talking-head, Pam says, “What did Jim tell my dad to make him want to leave my mom? And, at what point in our marriage is he going to say it to me?” Uh-oh! I smell trouble in JAM-land.

Back in his office, Michael is depressed about causing Stanley (and everyone else) stress. How do I know? He’s drinking one of those mini-bar bottles of liquor. lol Dwight is with him. Michael moans to Dwight about causing Stanley stress. Dwight replies, “nothing causes me stress, except having to seek the approval of my inferiors.” ha ha He is of course, referring to having to get everyone to sign his “statement of regret” form from corporate.

So what does a brooding Michael decide to do to fix the office stress? Have his co-workers “roast” him! Yes, once again, it’s all about Michael. He figures that a good comedy roast will boost the offices spirits and alleviate stress. He tells everyone to skewer him. You know, talk about his “womanizing ways”, etc…lol

Oscar is the first to react to the news of the Michael roast. In a talking-head he says, “I consider myself a good person, but I’m gonna try to make him cry”. As the camera pans around the office, you can see everyone furiously writing their material. Seems it has boosted spirits a little. Maybe even alleviated some stress? Guess we’ll see…

Next scene is Michael’s roast in the warehouse. He’s got tables set up, food, a huge poster of himself on the “stage”, even a drum-set for the ba-dum-dum! You know this is one of his dreams to have a roast of himself like comedy central does. So funny that he works it in as a stress relief thing at work!

Angela is first up. She does a “you might be a redneck” riff on Michael. Except it’s you might be Michael Scott if you…then a list of stupid stuff he does. It’s actually pretty funny and the crowd likes it too.

Next up, Kelly. She also has a list. Hers is “People I’d make-out with before Michael Scott”. Ouch! Kevin’s even on the list. His reply? “Alright!” lol

Then we have Meredith. Her bit is a little more painful. She basically chats about all the stuff he’s done to her. Posted a photo of her naked boobs, ran her over with a car, caused her to get rabies, etc…She ends the rant by saying to Michael, “You’re the reason I drink”. Ouch!

Oscar is next. Despite his warning to make Michael cry, he basically just yells at him in Spanish. Toby is up next. But, wait! Michael stops him. “Friends only”, he explains…lol

Jim entertains us with a list of Michael-isms. For example, when Michael says “spider face” about someone, instead of saying “cut off your nose <em>despite</em> your face”.

This all has Dwight fuming. He gets up and begins yelling at everyone to show their superior some respect. Michael interferes with Dwight. Then Dwight starts belittling Michael. A well orchestrated bit? I don’t think so, but that’s how it came off to the other members of the audience. Dwight is severely harsh this episode. Guess his break-up with Angela is really affecting him. Although they don’t mention it at all in this ep.

Pam is up next. She takes Michael down a few pegs. She chats about how he falls for every internet scam, “He’s supporting six Nigerian princesses”. lol She also goes for the low-blow. She talks about getting a peek at his um…thing in “Fun Run”. She compares it to an ipod. “If it were an ipod, it would be a shuffle”. Double ouch!

Darryl’s next on the mike. (ha ha I didn’t intend for that pun, but what the hey!) He basically just embarresses him by asking him the name of a warehouse worker that Michael has been in contact with many, many times. Michael doesn’t know it, but Darryl doesn’t let up. Finally, he tells him that the worker’s name is “Michael”. D-oh!

Andy Bernard finishes us up with a song. It’s a little ditty called, “What I hate about you”. Sung to the tune of “What i like about you”. First lyrics? “What I hate about you. You really suck as a boss. You’re the loser-iest, jerk-iest, and you’re dumber than applesauce. We’re stuck listening to you all day. Stanley tried to die, just to get away. It’s true. It’s what I hate about you”. lol

I loved the applesauce reference in the song. Remember wayyy back when he couldn’t remember the “Kit-Kat” commercial song? Break me off a piece of that….applesauce! ha ha I love being an Office-nerd!

Michael, however, is less than amused by all this bashing. Seems this isn’t what he envisioned when he thought up the roast. He doesn’t say anything but just quietly stalks off the stage and leaves the building.

Back to the JAM sub-plot. Next scene, we see Pam answer her cell phone and head outside. Jim follows her, but doesn’t make it all the way out. We see Pam and her dad talking and hugging in the parking lot. She head back into the building. Jim meets her half-way. He is very worried about what just happenend. Pam is crying. Jim looks anguished and tells her he wants to know if something he said caused the riff between her parents. Pam replies that yes it did. Jim told her dad that he never doubted his love for Pam for a minute. And that he has absolutely no doubts about marrying her and spending the rest of his life with her either. Pam’s dad apparently realized at that moment that he never felt that way about her mom. Oomph!

Pam’s response to all this? “When you’re a kid you assume your parents are soulmates. My kids are gonna be right about that”. Aww!! Painful and romantic all at the same time. Seems all is still completely awesome in JAM-land. <em>Loves it!!</em> And I must give kudos to Jenna Fischer for that scene. She did an amazing job…as always.

Next scene, Michael doesn’t show for work the next day. He leaves a message that he’s taking a personal day. He winds up at the local playground for some soul-searching, trying to feed the pigeons whole slices of bread. lol When none of them show up to eat it, he says, “I guess they all flew west for the winter”.

He heads back to the office mid-day and everyone feels contrite for bashing him. What does he do? He pulls out a list and starts to read off the “bits” he wrote about everyone else. Comparing Jim to Gumby, saying Cornell called and they think Andy is gayer than Oscar, etc…Then he busts on Stanley….

What does Stanley do? He just starts to laugh and laugh and laugh. Soon everyone in the office is laughing too. I mean, why not? The whole thing is ridiculous, right? Tension broken, stress relieved, and Michael thinks he did it all!

The show ends with the closing of the bootlegged “movie”. It’s a scene where Jack Black catches Cloris Leachmen cheating on him. He spots her making out with someone else on the couch while he waits outside with a bouquet of flowers and crutches? Ugh, hated it!

Anyway, what did you think of Stress Relief? Sound off with your theories in the comments section. I promise I will respond, even if you agree with nothing I said.

And, for those of you keeping track, and I know a few of you are ;), where would this rank on your list of season 5 episodes so far?

Thanks for reading! ~Donna