Life In The Office

I find myself in a bit of an awkward position recapping this episode, as it was highly religion based, although not my religion. However, I’ll set that issue aside and say that I did enjoy this episode as it had a lot of light-spirited moments as well as advancing the story by answering some important questions regarding the fate of Dunder Mifflin as a company. I hope you all don’t mind a few abbreviations and such. Well, here goes:

Dwight starts off the episode with a rather loud yet still effective announcement, “Jim and I, on behalf of the Party Planning Committee…” One would think, now that Jim is co-manager, he would be able to appoint some other poor fool to serve on the PPC in his stead. However, I suppose one would be wrong in thinking that. So it seems that Jim and Dwight are still stuck co-chairing the famous PPC. Moving on, Dwight wishes everyone a Merry Christmas from him and Jim.

In a TH Dwight says that his “Diabolical Plan” is on hold for Christmas—his heart just melts with the sound of children singing. Yeah, right—he goes on to say that he’s just tired, the days are shorter, maybe he’s a little depressed. I suppose it’s hard to be diabolical and depressed at the same time. Evil doing requires confidence you know.

Dwight and Jim are standing next to what appears to be a tree draped with a large white sheet. Dwight announces that it’s time to unveil the tree. Oscar gets excited and compares the moment to Rockefeller Center. Ryan says he’s been to Rock Center and this is nothing like that. Jim reminds him that this is all they have. Ryan gets disgusted and Jim reminds everyone that it is office camaraderie and Dwight says, “It is warm feelings.” Meredith has a great line here when she says, “Why don’t we talk more about it instead of doing it.” This has Dwight launching into a countdown from 30. Jim gets impatient and says, “3, 2, 1” and pulls off the sheet to reveal a naked tree. Phyllis says, “You didn’t decorate it.” And Jim replies they thought it would be more fun to have everyone decorate the tree together. Pam notices that the tree is fake. Dwight says that it’s an artificial tree that will never die, like the spirit of Christmas. Stanley then delivers one of his best lines ever, “Are we supposed to applaud you for taking a giant diaper off a fake tree?” Dwight gets annoyed and says in an angry authoritative tone, “This was a successful unveiling. Merry Christmas. Go back to work.” Jim just shakes his head. What else could he do in the face of such a lack of enthusiasm?

Erin comes in with Kelly. She has as a huge scratch going down the entire side of her face. She begins an announcement to the office by saying she’s not sure she’s earned the right to make announcements yet, but whoever is giving her the 12 Days of Christmas as a gift to please stop. Her cat has killed a turtle dove and the French hens have started pulling out her hair to make a nest. She just can’t take it anymore. Kelly hugs her after deeming Erin’s Secret Santa a “Psycho”, and then hugs her.

Andy has a TH. He says that he begged Dwight and Jim to let him be Erin’s Secret Santa. He decided to give her the 12 Days of Christmas. Is it his fault that the first 8 days is basically like 30 birds?

Phyllis walks in dressed as Santa. She’s very jolly. Everyone is excited for her. In a TH she explains that she’s been wanting to be Santa for years. She believes she has the right temperament and the figure to do the job well. She slipped Jim a note 11 weeks ago and he said she could do it. We cut to footage of Phyllis excitedly hugging Jim for quite a long time which makes Jim look very uncomfortable (especially since we know that Jim was on her list from Beach Day). It’s been a long journey, but she’s Santa Claus *Sob*.

Pam wants to know what to expect from this year’s party. Phyllis says that it will be a very jolly time—if you’ve been good. Here we enter the big Creed moment of the episode: he wants to know what happens if you’ve been bad, really bad—even evil. Phyllis says there’s nothing but a lump of coal for bad boys. We all know that Creed is a real bad boy – hee, hee.

Dwight has a TH, he’s dressed in his traditional Christmas elf suit that I don’t think we’ve seen since Season 2, but it’s great to have it back. Anyway, he says his Secret Santa has been giving him parts of a machine which he’s been attempting to assemble. He is suspicious of this because he has the same idea for catching Osama Bin Laden. He would send him a different piece each day and he would assemble it to find himself….wait for it…in jail! Great idea Dwight, now all you need is Osama’s address and the threat of world terror will be completely obliterated. I wonder if he’s listed??

Now, I really like this whole idea because anyone who knows Dwight would know that this kind of thing is right up Dwight’s alley as he loves machines and robots and he also loves a good mystery. It shows that his Secret Santa knows Dwight quite well.

Pam and Oscar are setting up in the conference room (apparently they haven’t been able to get off the party planning committee either. That seems a bit unfair seeing as Oscar joined just to calm Angela down and she’s been black listed, but whatever.) Pam is talking to Oscar, but he seems to be distracted by something he’s looking at out the window. The camera pans behind them and we see a warehouse guy playing football in the parking lot. Pam has a TH where she reveals that there’s a new good looking warehouse guy and Oscar seems to be into him. Well, she doesn’t use so many words; she simply says excitedly, “Oscar and the warehouse guy. Go Oscar! Go gay warehouse guy!”

Michael marches into the office and announces, “Heeeeeeeres SANTA!” He’s also dressed in a Santa suit. He walks over to Pam and asks her what she’d like for Christmas. He points to her belly and says, “You have been a very naughty girl I see.” Pam tells Michael that they already have a Santa, Phyllis. Michael sees Phyllis dressed as Santa holding gifts across the room and exclaims, “What the hell is going on?” I guess Jim forgot to send Michael a memo telling him that he’s not Santa this year. There is trouble brewing at the North Pole.

After Jim & Michael have it out in Michael’s office that pretty much ended with Michael suggesting that Jim send Phyllis an anonymous note comprised of cut out magazine letters telling her that she can’t be Santa and Jim obviously refusing. Michael has a hilarious talking head: “If this were Russia, yeah sure, everybody would go to one Santa. And there would be a line around the block. And once you sat on her lap and she asked you what you wanted, you would say, probably, freedom. At which point the KGB would come and arrest you and send you Siberia. It’s a good thing Russia doesn’t exist anymore.”

That might have been true in the former Soviet Union, Michael, if communism had actually advocated religion.

There’s a nice winter backdrop, with a big chair surrounded by golden pedestals and some of those Christmas plants with the red flowers (I don’t know what they’re called) set up by the entrance of the office. Ryan has his camera set up to take pictures of everyone sitting on Santa’s lap. Michael pulls out a chair from his office and sits down in front of his door announcing that Phyllis is a “Tranny-Claus” and that he is a real man. Just sit down on his lap and there will be no doubt. But he doesn’t mean penis-wise.

Kevin comes over and says that Phyllis says he’s too big to sit on her lap. Michael says he’s sorry that Phyllis hates Kevin and hates his body. He lets Kevin sit on his lap. After Kevin gets comfortable, Michael is clearly very uncomfortable. Michael asks him what he wants and when Kevin takes too long deciding (nobody’s ever let him sit on their lap before. Boy his parents really must not have liked him), Michael kicks him off his lap and says he gets a thousand helium balloons tied to him so Santa doesn’t have to go through that again. Kevin is happy with this. He thinks it’s, “Awesome”.

Phyllis is obviously annoyed by Michael’s behavior she wants to be the only Santa. Jim says he’s trying. Phyllis tells Jim that he promised and he should make her get Bob involved. Jim wants to know what Bob would do and Phyllis says, “Never mind. I shouldn’t have said that.” This is not the first time Phyllis has alluded to Bob being a strong-arm; who may very well be connected to the Mafia. But that’s all speculation because she’s always been very vague about it and clams up as soon as the topic comes up. I wonder if we’ll have an episode that ever clears it up, or if it will forever remain a mystery?

Andy and Erin are at reception. She says she’s trying to figure out who her Secret Santa is but no one will admit to it. She wants to know if it’s Andy, but he kind of laughs and doesn’t give her a serious answer when he admits to being the one. I’m kind of not feeling the reception desk exchanges the way I did when they were between Jim and Pam. I’m still glad we’re past the Pam being with another guy and unavailable to Jim stage, where all he has is hanging out with her at reception. I suppose the writers have to do something to move on to another romance story.

Oscar goes down to the warehouse to give the new gay guy his check. We find out his name is Matt. Darryl says he’s out on a delivery and that Oscar can leave the check with him. Oscar decides to wait for his return (not too obvious). Darryl comments that Matt’s a good-looking guy and an embarrassed Oscar retreats back up to the office. We see Pam peeking in from the door at the top of the steps. I can just tell the match-maker wheels are turning her head and she’s plotting something.

Michael is still trying to usurp Phyllis position as Santa. He tries to force Ryan to sit on his lap. Jim decides to put a stop to all this and they put it to a vote. Michael of course is the only one who votes for himself to be Santa, well Dwight votes twice, but I don’t think the second vote counted. Michael is deflated. He takes off his Santa hat and squishes it into the punch bowl in disgust.

Dwight is still trying to put together his machine. He thinks it may be a gun. Phyllis and Stanley don’t agree with him. He decides it’s not a gun.

Meanwhile, Phyllis starts the party with a tree illumination. Michael is in his office, turning his Santa outfit inside out so the white lining is on the outside. He takes a rope from his office decorations and turns it into a belt. He says that he doesn’t ask for much, all he wants to be is Santa. I love his next line – “You want to take that away from me; fine. But when you need my help because I am ruining everything, don’t look at me.” – Classic Michael.

He comes out of his office and announces that he’s JC. Those that want to join him; he will be excited about that. Those that don’t, he forgives them, but he will never forget. Apparently, since having two Santas didn’t work, Michael needed to bring the center of attention back on himself by taking on another character. Toby reminds him that it’s wrong and you can’t push religion in the office. Michael tells him to choose his poison: he can push religion, or push drugs. In the meantime, he’s going to spread his goodness all over the company.

Andy comes into the break room where Phyllis is wrapping gifts. He asks her not to reveal to Erin that he’s her Secret Santa. She tells him not to worry; she’ll just tell her it’s Michael. (Sounds like something Michael would do, right?)

The party is in full swing. Erin and Kelly are singing karaoke. Matt is at the buffet table and Pam approaches him. She mentions how good the pâté is and that Oscar made it. Then in true How I Met Your Mother form she asks, “Have you met Ted?” I mean, “Have you met Oscar?” It seems as if Pam has become Oscar’s wing man. (I know you all know exactly what I’m talking about because you ran out and rented the first season as soon as I told you to, right?) Isn’t it funny how NPH is a gay man playing a straight guy on TV and Oscar is a straight guy playing a gay man on TV?

Pam says, “Yes, they’re the only two gay guys I know. But they should be together.”

Phyllis starts distributing the presents. She is holding up an inter-office memo envelope and announces that it just arrived from the Dunder Mifflin North Pole branch. Dwight is pouring over his machine pieces and, annoyed, he snatches the envelope from Phyllis as she chuckles away. It’s more parts to his machine. Michael is on the karaoke microphone speaking into it. He starts insulting all the presents and everyone receiving them. He says that what Dwight got was space garbage and that he’s going to build himself a friend. He says that Stanley is going to hell for cheating on his wife. Angela got grey material and she can make herself another dress that goes past her feet. Actually, Angela is happy with the gift and says it’s exactly what she wanted. She asks if it was from Andy and Michael says that Andy had Erin into the microphone so everyone could hear. Everyone, especially Phyllis, gets upset that Michael told. Michael wants to know if he was not supposed to say it. So much for Phyllis covering for Andy. Jim turns off the microphone and Michael goes into his office. He calls David Wallace and says that he’s dressed as JC because Phyllis, a woman, has uslurped his role as Santa. David asks his secretary to hang up. Michael is shocked and wants to know if she always stays on the line. Then we hear Erin asking if he wants her off the call too? They both hang up. David confides in Michael that the company has a buyer and the board will have no choice but to approve and they are going to clean house. He and Alan will be losing their jobs. He hangs up the phone.

We see Michael sitting in his office with a sweatshirt on. He says, “Earlier today this office needed a Santa, then it needs a second Santa, and then a JC. And now, it needs a Michael. And that’s one suit Phyllis cannot fit into.” It seems now that things look bleak, Michael is going to step up and assume his leadership role.

He comes out of his office where everyone looks downtrodden. He decides to liven up the party by sending Dwight out for pizzas and he gives him his debit card to pay for them. Dwight asks for his PIN and Michael doesn’t want to say, but “it’s fun to stay at the…” Dwight doesn’t get this hint. He tries to do the motions of YMCA, but that too goes over Dwight’s head. Apparently, Dwight is only familiar with Amish folk songs. Anyway, if anyone is interested, Michael’s PIN # is 9622.

Erin and Andy are talking. Andy says he thought Erin would like getting the 12 Days of Christmas as a gift. She says it was a little much and asks what he was thinking. He decides that he is not going to throw in the towel. Knowing the way Andy pursues women, something more outrageous is coming.

Everyone is in the conference room and Michael is talking to everyone saying that Christmas is about the work place and all of them are like his family. He looks at all their faces and thinks, “How could they do this to us?” Whoops, looks like Michael has let something slip. That’s so unlike him. Of course everyone is up in arms and demands to know what is going on. He tells them that the company is going out of business. Dwight then kicks over the tree. Michael says that David told him that they have been sold. Jim tells him that could mean many different things. Michael says that David and Allen are gone and it’s hard for him to imagine a scenario where Meredith Palmer gets to keep her job, but David Wallace does not. Hello Michael, it’s called corporate takeover.

They all cram into Michael’s office and he uses his inside knowledge of where David’s kids go to school to get David on the phone. He tells David that he is on speaker everyone is listening. David tells them that only the executives are losing their jobs and that they are the only thing about the company that works, so congratulations, they’re safe. It’s a Christmas miracle!

They pick up the tree and the party resumes. Dwight is singing karaoke and everyone seems to be having fun. The gift giving continues: Jim gives Kelly a Twilight New Moon poster with Rob Pattinson’s face on it and she’s speechless; she just hugs him. Ryan gives Toby a kite, because he’s reading The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini and he loves it too. Secret Santa is a hit (except for Andy & Erin). Dwight seems to finally be piecing together his machine, but what is it? Michael gives him a bag of nuts and says it might help. He leaves Dwight perplexed.

Matt leaves the party and Oscar bids him good-bye, calling him Mark by “accident”. He tells Pam he knows what he’s doing. I’m curious to see how this will develop. I love new elements to the show.

Dwight figures out that the machine is an elaborate nut cracker. He’s ecstatic and goes on to lists all the nuts he can crack with it; he goes off on a little tangent with clams and snails though. We see Michael with a satisfied look on his face. It’s obvious that Michael is Dwight’s Secret Santa.

Michael goes over and sits on Phyllis’ lap. He tells her he wants to make a wish. He wishes for an X-Box and a TV that is compatible with and X-Box, and he’s sorry. She grants him his wish because she decided he’s a good boy. Bob Vance walks in and wants to know what the hell is going on. He is also dressed as Santa, probably due to the Vance Refrigeration Christmas party. Phyllis says that everything is ok; they’ve worked it out (no need to rough Michael up, I guess). Bob & Phyllis kiss. Michael is disgusted at the image of two Santas kissing. He says, “Get a room, Santas.”

The show ends with everyone leaving to go home. I guess the production crew read our comments about making the seasons appear real because it’s snowing. Dwight says to be careful; it’s a little slippery out here (if fake snow can be slippery, I guess that might have been true). All of a sudden we see a band of drummers marching out from behind the building, including a percussionist. Pam says thoughtfully, “12 drummers drumming.” Thankfully, that is the last of the 12 gifts. They line up as Andy marches out in front of them holding cymbals. He bangs them and says, “Merry Christmas Erin. Take it away boys.” They begin to perform. Erin seems genuinely touched. Everyone looks on as Andy does his funky dance and bangs the cymbals to the beat. Looks like Andy’s back in the running for Erin’s affections.

I really liked this episode. The subplots were fun and theme centric and I like how they even resolved the company’s financial issues to boot. This is the last episode until after the New Year and it left me with a warm and fuzzy feeling.

I hope you can all forgive me for not knowing some of the holiday terms, like the name of that red-flowered plant. You can all correct me in the comments, I won’t be offended.

With that, I’m off to set up my Menorah. Tonight is the first night of Hanukkah and there’s a lot to do. Happy holidays everyone—whatever you’re celebrating.

Suri (aka HDF)