Scrantonicity ~ “Sabre”

Sabre is swooping into Scranton from Florida, and I’m anxious to see if the new owners will embrace the hometown flavor and traditions. I doubt it, but it would be nice if they sent Christian Slater into town. He could be filmed spouting the empty company blather as he strolled the Steamtown Mall, or dined at Cooper’s Seafood while wearing the famous paper lobster hat. Or, sitting on a barstool at Poor Richard’s. The local Scrantonians would love the celebrity sighting, and Michael Scott could have a hand in the creative editing. Yeah, “Christian Slater Shakes Up Lazy Scranton”… a Michael Scott joint. Let’s have Gabe present this idea to Jo Bennett!

The Office writers missed a great opportunity at the beginning of the episode. Dwight presented Gabe with a platter of “Scranton hot dogs.” That was funny, and it got even funnier when a confused Dwight just set the hot dog platter down on the floor. But it could have been even funnier, if they’d done a little homework. Downtown Scranton’s oldest restaurant is “Coney Island Texas Wieners.” It’s one of those places that gives you heartburn and indigestion, but you never complain because… dog-gonnit, it’s an institution! Now, wouldn’t that have been just a little bit better? Just saying the phrase “Coney Island Texas Wieners” makes me laugh; I’m sure Dwight Schrute could have goosed it even more!

Then Andy and Erin launched into their heartfelt “welcoming” song, in which they once again mentioned Scranton’s uh… nickname, the “Electric City.” I want to emphasize one thing here: I was born and raised in the Scranton area, and I lived there for 22 years… and I never once referred to Scranton by that nickname. Nor did anyone else. It’s not like the “Big Apple,” or the “City Of Angels,” or “The Big Easy.” Nobody used the “Electric City.” Of course, the irony now is that because of “The Office,” the nickname has cachet. It has a stylish clout. Folks in Carbondale are now saying “Hey, do you guys want to head to the Electric City for some Coney Island Texas Wieners? I heard Christian Slater ate at the counter.” That’s cool.

It reminds me of when I was a little kid, about the age of the bratty drummer. I had a friend that suddenly announced he wanted to be called “Kentucky J. Squirrel.” Well, of course, none of his friends ever called him that, not even once. A nickname isn’t something that you can impose on people to use. It has to feel “natural;” You can’t force it. That’s what she said.

Another Scranton reference in “Sabre” was the “Alfredo’s” pizza box in the refrigerator. I’ve never eaten there, but now that’s one more place that I definitely have to hit when I get back home for a visit. The Scranton area is well-known for its distinctive pizza, and I’m hoping that Alfredo’s is a worthy representative.

And finally, we come to Sabre’s infamous hot tub scene. We see Michael Scott and David Wallace with their hands wrapped around their Yeunglings. Nice touch!

Well, that about wraps it up for this “Scrantonicity.” This Office episode had enough local references to make me think about planning a visit back home. I’ve suddenly got a hankering for an Electric City Coney Island Texas Wiener… maybe I can hook up for lunch with Kentucky J. Squirrel.

~Bob