Life In The Office

Searching for ANY Scranton references in “New Leads” has proved to be as challenging as searching for any “new leads” at the Scranton dump. I was about to give up, and not write anything this week. Then, I thought to myself: Hey… there are regular readers of Scrantonicity; I don’t want to disappoint either of them. So, I may not have found any new Scranton leads, but instead let’s think of this column as a big, ol’ stinky beanbag chair that I’ve tied to the top of the LITO-mobile.

After several seasons of The Office regularly making local references, it seems the writers has been drifting away from the concept. So, after all these years of me watching the show and being whipped into a hometown frenzy, I finally get the opportunity to write about it… and now it appears that I’ve hitched my Scranton memory wagon to a horse with no legs! Ultimately, it doesn’t matter that they didn’t identify the dump. Most viewers don’t care, and it doesn’t make the show any funnier. But I just can’t help but speculate where the garbage truck dropped its load. I’m going to say they were at the Keystone Sanitary Landfill, in nearby Dunmore. Logistically it works, traveling from the mythical Scranton Business Park. Also, I was born and raised in Dunmore. And I learned my bartending skills at a Holiday Inn just down the road from that dump. Furthermore, the last home my parents lived in had a distant view of the Keystone Sanitary Landfill from their kitchen window. So, you see… for me, this choice would be about as romantic as Erin and Andy’s passionate kiss atop the solid-waste heap. On Keystone’s website, they offer group tours of the facility, where you can watch the gigantic machinery at work, and learn about the process that turns solid waste matter into methane gas. The tours are probably all-inclusive, and I bet they even toss in the kitchen sink. This should now be a stop on the real Office tour that fans of the show can take in Scranton!

So, in my mind, I can see a “deleted scene,” where Michael drives by a sign outside the facility that reads “Keystone Sanitary Landfill.” But then there’s the problem of the topography beyond the dump. The horizon is flat and has deciduous trees in full bloom. Scranton’s terrain is hilly, with low rolling mountains in the background, and would have a diffused greenish-grayish haze to the atmosphere, befitting the season. That looks like they filmed that dump in July outside of Davenport, Iowa. Again, who cares? A few seasons ago, at least one piece of junk that Michael or Dwight flung at one another would have been of local significance, like for instance an advertisment for a now-extinct home-brewed beer. I think those little touches added another layer of “inside joke” enjoyment to the show, and even though they’re fewer and farther between, I’ll still look for them.

It would have been a hoot if they had given at least a street name where Toby’s “Mystery Syrian” restaurant could be found. There is a Lebanese restaurant, Savory Maza, on North Main Avenue in Scranton, which serves a similar menu. Maybe it was the inspiration for the bit. There’s truth to the gag that Scranton’s cuisine is not as adventurous as many other cities, but the writers didn’t put a whole lot of effort into Toby’s retort: “There’ll be nothing left but pan pizzas and make-your-own salads.” That’s lazy writing; pan pizzas are not popular in Scranton. And “make-your-own salads” are probably all over the place… in southern California. Toby could have said that there’ll be nothing left but hoagie shops, if the writers had been going for any kind of authentic “feel.” Also, “hoagie” is a fun word to say, and it would have sounded even funnier being said by a sad sack like Toby.

When Jim is talking to the rest of the sales staff in the breakroom, the snack vending machine is visible behind his head. I’ll bet at least one of those snacks is a local product. But I haven’t been able to determine that, because it is so out of focus. In the past, I have spotted Gertrude Hawks Chocolate Bars. And I would be able to identify a bag of Wise Potato Chips by the distinctive colors, even out of focus. If anybody out there saw a local snack amongst the Doritos and the Chips Ahoy… please give us a holler, OK?

One last observation involves the far-fetched idea of Johnny Depp scouting around Scranton for a “two bedroom condo.” That reminds me of this legendary tale: Back in the 1920s, New York Yankee star Babe Ruth actually rented a house in Scranton, which he would visit on his off days. It is said that he liked to have unsupervised, uh… “fun” at his “safe house,” away from the prying eyes of the New York media. One historian explained that, hidden away in Scranton, the Babe could “eat all the hot dogs he wanted without being caught.” Oooo-kay… well, now we know why Johnny Depp would seek that same anonymity.

~ Bob