Life In The Office

For Secretary’s Day, Michael Scott takes Erin to a fancy restaurant in Scranton called Hayworth’s. Well, there is no Hayworth’s in Scranton, which by now is not surprising. If they had used a real Scranton restaurant, that would have made writing this “Scrantonicity” easy. The column practically would have written itself. But that’s OK; when the going gets tough, a dedicated Officionado draws inspiration from our fearless leader Michael Scott. I think of his words of wisdom at the end of “Booze Cruise,” when Michael is comforting Jim: “Never ever ever give up.” So, even though I have almost nothing to work with, I will never ever ever give up. I will take the wheel, and steer the good ship “Scrantonicity” into shore. Even if it is a fake wheel!

In “Deleted Scene” Number Two, Michael talks about past Secretary’s Days, and how he reached an agreement with Pam. He would give her a $15 gift certificate to Cooper’s Seafood, which would cover her half of their lunch together, if they were to have lunch together. Cooper’s Seafood has been mentioned on the show more than any other restaurant, which is why it is included on the real life “Office tour” that caters to fans of the show. Lunch at Cooper’s includes a beet salad, which is a really nice touch. Cooper’s is a nice place, located in downtown Scranton, and would be one of the top choices for Secretary’s Day.

I can understand why The Office might shy away from using another real restaurant. The competition to be represented would be fierce, and open to all sorts of unsavory bribes and kickbacks. And then there is the sticky situation of a comedy show strutting its stuff in a “real” establishment. I recall reading about how Chili’s Restaurant was appalled at Pam’s drunken behavior in”The Dundies.” Chili’s representatives insisted on the inclusion of a scene that established that the restaurant in no way condoned drunken behavior like Pam’s, and they even got to explain how Pam did not get overserved, but instead snuck other people’s drinks off of tables. It makes me think of a pack of lawyers scrutinizing the script with a fine-tooth comb, and that’s probably a hassle the show doesn’t need.

Erin’s desk proudly displays a pennant from Keystone College, a small school in LaPlume, Pennsylvania which is just a few miles outside of Scranton. My sister has a home in Clark’s Summit, which is close by. When I lived in the area, it was known as “Keystone Junior College,”before it expanded its curriculum. Erin is absolutely perfect as a graduate of Keystone. The campus is small-town woodsy and pretty, and Erin is so… small-town woodsy and pretty, don’t you agree?

Behind Erin’s desk at Dunder-Mifflin is a rack of literature, and one pamphlet clearly has “Scranton” in its title. Menus of local luncheonettes still plaster the walls of the breakroom, and cling with magnets to the refrigerator. I can’t read most of them, but it is comforting knowing they are there.

It is also comforting to know that some of the writers still get a kick out of local references, even if they don’t make the cut in the actual TV script. Forbes magazine recently did an “interview” with “Michael Scott,” picking his brain about his business acumen. In the interview, they ask Michael a hypothetical question: If he could work anywhere in the world, where would it be? Michael’s answer is hilariously pedestrian. He dreams of Dunder-Mifflin’s office magically moving to Keyser Avenue, near the Scranton Expressway, or Lackawanna Avenue, near Steamtown Mall. Now, that’s funny. Just picturing the puzzled look on the Forbe’s writer’s face is what I love about “The Office.” These moments are getting harder to find, but I’m hooked; I’ll keep looking for them. Like Michael Scott said as the winds of Lake Wallenpaupack blew through his hair… I’ll never, ever ever give up!

~ Bob