As a native of Scranton, I was glued to “The Office” for 5 seasons, marveling at ALL of the local references to my hometown. (Dunmore, 
my high school!) Imagine my excitement when I got the opportunity here at LITO to chronicle these local references for Season 6! This “golden ticket” just happened to coincide with “The Office,” uh… moving away from using local references. Writing “Scrantonicity” got pretty challenging, and some episodes I had to dig pretty deeply to find anything. Luckily, I never had to resort to just making things up, although don’t think that didn’t cross my mind! And… luckily-er, “The Cover-Up” featured plenty of local references, including probably the wildest, most personal local reference that there will ever be for me… which in true show-biz fashion I will save for the very end of this column. 
The fun starts when the gang is gathered in the conference room. Michael is looking for things to do around town with his new girlfriend “besides having sex.” Meredith suggest going to the Poconos, where they have “heart-shaped jacuzzis,” which she helpfully adds “with room enough for three.” Here’s why I fell off the couch laughing at that line: As a young man growing up in Northeastern Pennsylvania, the Pocono Mountains always luridly beckoned us with the fantasy of nearby, inexpensive, secluded motel rooms… and in our young, impressionable minds, there was always a heart-shaped jacuzzi in that room! Always! Kudos to whoever wrote that line; he or she really nailed a funny teenage cliché. 
Kelly then scoffs at the idea of driving all the way to Mount Pocono to dine at P.F. Chang’s Chinese restaurant, when “We have the Great Wall in Scranton.” Well, the Great Wall Chinese Restaurant is actually located on Monroe Avenue in Dunmore, less than a mile from the house that I grew up in. We really like Chinese cuisine, so now we have one more must-stop on our next visit back home.
Next, we have Ryan taking Kelly to the Starlight Diner in Hazelton, Pa. You would definitely spirit the “other man” or “other woman” to out-of-the-way Hazelton to dine without blowing your cover in Scranton. Oddly enough, the real Starlight Diner is in Allentown, Pa, not Hazelton. That was either a careless mistake by the writers, or an intentional mistake: it would be an absolutely perfect example of how Kelly is “directionally challenged.”
Later in the show, Kelly admires Donna’s heart-shaped earrings, which she says she bought at the Steamtown Mall. Kelly perks up and suggests possible stores: “Claire’s? Zale’s? Ricky’s? Earrings, Earrings, Earrings? Fancy Girl? Platinum Cat?” A quick check of the Steamtown Mall directory shows that none of these aforementioned stores are actually there, which doesn’t bother me. Back in Season Two’s “Take Your Daughter To Work Day,” Stanley’s daughter Melissa asks a nervous Ryan if he had ever been to “Jitter’s,” a real coffee stand at Steamtown Mall. Not long after that episode aired, “Jitter’s” went out of business. Geez Louise, that’s too bad that even a direct plug on a popular show on national TV couldn’t save the coffee stand. Especially with all the tourists that came to town specifically seeking “Office” sites.
Donna now has the jitters because she is caught in a lie. She switches her story, and says she bought her earrings in Philadelphia. Kelly quickly fires off the Philly malls: Franklin Mills, King Of Prussia, Springfield, Governor’s Place… of these, the only one I’ve been to is the “King Of Prussia” mall, and I have no real memory of it except that I like the name; it sounds cool. It is the largest mall in the US of A, and it is named after the local township, which was named after, oddly enough, Frederick, the, uh… real king of Prussia. Who knew, huh? You think they’d call it “Fred’s Mall,” then. Oh well, since several LITO-ites live in the area, they might have a good story to add about one of the Philadelphia malls.
At this point, I got to thinking that they mentioned “heart-shaped jacuzzis” and “heart-shaped jewelry,” and I began to sense a “heart-shaped” theme developing on the show. But that theory fizzled out when they passed up the opportunity to have a heart-shaped diagram of a real heart on the wall of the gym. Hmm… it would have made sense, too. Anyway, that leads me to what will probably be my all-time ALL-TIME personal local reference on “The Office.” It doesn’t get much more eerie than this: When Darryl is shown in the breakroom, he is reading a Scranton Times newspaper. On the back page of the paper is an obituary. The photograph is of Mr. Haggerty, my ninth-grade Social Science teacher. He died last year, and it is not too surprising that “The Office” is using props that are a little out-of-date. My sister who lives in Scranton informed me of this one, as she also had Mr. Haggerty as a high school teacher. I liked the guy. His class was fun, and I learned stuff from it, although I don’t actually recall a darn thing about Social Studies… but I do remember this: He mischievously told our class the classic “foo bird” joke, and we of course responded by going ballistic. What ninth grader wouldn’t love to hear their teacher tell this joke in class? R.I.P. Mr. Haggerty. I think being immortalized in “The Office” is a good thing. it’s like a visit by the “Foo Bird Of Happiness!”
~ Bob
I’ve been waiting for this! =) I don’t have much time now, but I just wanted to ask, I could’ve sworn there’s a Starlight diner in Hanover, am I mistaken? I have family of friends there and I could’ve sworn we’d eat at the Starlight, hmm I’ll have to Google it…
On a side note, does anyone remember the song “Hazleton” by that band from one of the local radio stations? It went something like “Hazleton, bleach blonde with the roots showin’ through”? And mentioned something about using a whole bottle of hairspray, and not being able to get through the drive thru because your hair is too tall, or something along those lines?
Tish, I Googled it for you, and you are correct! The Starlight Café is at 1177 Carlisle Street in Hanover, Pa, which also happens to be the home of Utz Snacks. (Found on top of the Dunder-Mifflin refrigerator.)
I haven’t been able to find a song called “Hazleton,” though. (Now THAT might be found in Dwight Schrute’s music collection in the console of his Firebird.)
Thanks for stopping by, Tish!
Yes, I searched it afterward, and I guess it’s not quite the same, though it is a “diner” the name is different. I searched high and low for that song, and could not find it. I need to find out the name of the band, perhaps that would help. I think all you NEPA transplants would get a kick out of it! I’ll let you know if it’s discovered!
Amazing Scrantonicity Bob. It must be a lot easier when you have something to work with. I remember going to the Pocono Mountains for an overnight ski trip with my ex when my now 14 yr. old was only 5 months old. I was experiencing the new mommy blues so my ex-mother-in-law watched the baby for us. There WAS a heart-shaped jacuzzi in the cabin we stayed in, but it was only big enough for two. There was also a round bed and a fire place. The only thing cheesier are those champaign glass jacuzzis and the fact that they actually have photographers who come to your room and photograph you and your partner in them; I don’t think there’s anything quite as sleezy.
That is really weird about your Social Science teacher. At least it brought back some fond memories. That foo bird joke is really corny, but I could see how it would delight a bunch of ninth graders and make them think their teacher was ‘cool’.
This is definitely the kind of inside scoop that can only be found here at LITO. I’d say we trumped OT today! 
Thanks, Suri! If there was EVER a “free-standing” phrase that could make me laugh for NO reason at all, it would be “heart-shaped jacuzzi.” It immediately makes me think of being a teenager, and the Poconos, and cheap motel rooms with shag rugs and dark wood paneling, and… well, it makes me laugh.
Uh… did you have a photographer come to your room with the jacuzzi? Just wonderin’… I don’t recall that option.
Isn’t that eerie about my teacher’s obituary? Seeing his picture in Darryl’s newspaper reminded me about the long-forgotten “foo bird” joke, which Google found instantly. This has all been a lot of fun!
The beautiful Mount Airy lodge. All you have to bring, is your love of everything.
Thanks, Brian. Now, for your enjoyment, here is a TV commercial beckoning folks to Mount Airy Lodge:
http://www.fasthack.com/posts/1066/
Watch closely; I believe I see a HEART-SHAPED JACUZZI in that motel room!
Um, no Bob we didn’t have the photorapher come to our room. We saw an advertisment for the photographer in the lobby of the hotel showcasing some of his, um, work. There were pictures of couples in the champaign tower jacuzzis. *shudder*
Are you serious, Bob? That is really wild! They must have needed permission to use that Obit, I imagine. HDF is right, that is a singular LITO observation there. OT can’t touch that (a lot of acronyms there). Wow, that is really interesting.
I thought the Mall of America in Minnesota was the largest mall in the country. Gotta look that up…
KG, as soon as you threw down the challenge of “largest mall,” I KNEW I would have to research it, because… well, uh, because I give an “eff” about these things. Here is what I found at the website:
http://blog.ratestogo.com/biggest-shoping-malls-in-america/
***Here’s where things get a bit hairy. The King of Prussia Mall in Pennsylvania is actually the largest mall in the country when it comes to retail space in square feet, but it pales in comparison when it comes to the number of stores in the largest mall, the Mall Of America. With 400 stores, the King of Prussia mall is part of an incredible shopping complex, drawing traffic from not only King of Prussia but Philadelphia and Upper Merion Township as well. As of 2008 the mall also serves as the home for the Philadelphia Freedoms tennis team!***
So, LESS stores but MORE square footage. And SIZE matters!
Thanks for your comments!
OK….I have some stuff to lend to this. I live in the Lehigh Valley (which is where Allentown is located), and the Starlight Diner is totally awesome in only one way….it has to be 4 am. Otherwise, it is terrible. I much prefer the Bethlehem Diner. But if I have to choose a place “up there” I LOVE Rise & Shine in Mountain Top, PA. It is one of those local favs.
As for King of Prussia, that is one big damn mall. It is more like a campus, but it is the only place around here where you can find Tiffany’s or other high end stores. I like to go there, but stay away around X-mas time.
During the “suggestion” part of the show, Dwight recommends “eel fishing”….this is easily done in Water Gap in the Delaware. Also, you may find it weird that Andy mentioned going to Apple Orchards, but you CAN do this in the Scranton area. They also have other fruits…
There was also another issue of the Weekender in this episode….in the infamous “Mayo an black olives” scene.
Something interesting….Dwight corners Michael’s girl in “Flexopolis Gym”, and the sign even says “Scranton, PA”….this a’int no gym I ever heard of. In fact, there is no Flexopolis gym. Sorry dudes.
Last year, “The Office” picked up a former “Simpsons” writer who graduated from Stroudsburg High School.. which helps for the NE PA references, though there is no PF Changs in Mount Pocono
I am not a regular Office watcher, but it happened to be on the other day when mention was made of the PF Changs in Mt. Pocono. I lived in the Poconos in the 90s and have been back (not for a while). Although the Poconos are much more developed than when I lived there (it’s now a regular bedroom community to Manhattan!!!), I knew that there was NO WAY they had one there!!! I choked on my drink…(and by the way, I went to “Da U” for two years (before I transferred), so I am not lost on the fact that NO ONE has a northeastern PA accent on the staff…go figure…
I bellhopped at Cove Haven on Lake Wallenpaupack for two summers many years ago, and ushered many a couple to their room complete with heart shaped bath. What a hoot to hear all the area references. I wonder if Dwight’s family moved north from the Lancaster Amish country some years before? 8^)
Thanks for the comment, Buckhorn! Did you happen to see the movie “Blue Valentine?” That flick featured a “romantic” Poconos motel scene. Uh, yeah… REAL romantic…