Life In The Office

Well, this is my 6th and final recap for the 6th season. The episodes I had previously (“The Promotion”, “Koi Pond”, “Scott’s Tots”, “Manager and Salesman” and “Happy Hour”) were not classics but had some good moments interspersed in them. Kind of uneven, you could say. I guess they were setting the stage for “The Chump’ which is, in my opinion, the most uneven episode of the season.

Just look at the cold opening. It starts with an unfunny bit about Michael continually finding Toby’s Radon testers (my friend Tony had a good observation: why are they testing for Radon on the second floor of an office building? Radon emissions are from the ground and are usually concentrated in basements. Well, as it turns out, the Appalachian Mountain area of southeastern Pennsylvania has some of the highest Radon emissions in the country. And guess what town, though north of that, kinda fits into that equation?). But then it abruptly switches gears and becomes a office quiz on how to kill Hitler, Bin Laden and Toby with one bullet. That was kinda funny but it started off lame. A harbinger of the episode to come.

As the first act begins an exhausted Pam is trying, along with Erin, to have ice cream ready for Michael. Pam is beat because she and Jim are worn out by CeCe, who was up all night (it’s funny when Erin asks Pam “Why would you keep a baby up all night?”. Oh boy.) The thinking is that Michael will be depressed after finding out that his girlfriend Donna is married. Pam has a whole attack plan set up. Michael enters and is greeted with applause and hugs. But he doesn’t seem the least bit upset. So when Michael turns down an invite to Jim and Pam’s for dinner, Mrs. Halpert loudly confronts him; Is he still seeing Donna? Yup. This leads to a not really funny scene with Michael trying to justify his affair. The only amusing thing was Michael saying “Real Sports with Bryant GumBALL”. This is followed by another luke-warm scene of Andy convincing Michael to go look up Donna’s high school baseball coach husband. Also, mixed in there, is Dwight and Angela, who are using a mediator to iron out the whole baby contract thing. That didn’t start out strong either. So at this point I was like “Uh oh… that first act was not exactly stellar…”

As the second act begins Andy and Michael are sitting in the stands watching Donna’s husband coach third base. Andy is making unfunny comments and Michael is trying to keep a low profile. Back at the office a sleeping Jim and Pam are awakened by Gabe, who asks them to join him in his office. Jim was supposed to have lookout duty but dozed. “It’s really warm in here”, he says to an annoyed Pam. “It’s like a sleeping bag.” After dressing down the couple (or trying to… can you really take Gabe seriously?), Gabe tries to soften the blow by asking their opinion on something in a really boring and monotonous way, which starts to put Jim and Pam back to sleep. This amused me because this happened to me recently. During a meeting, with my boss sitting right next to me, I was trying like hell not to doze off. My co-workers got a kick out of that. Anyway, back at the office we get more Dwight and Angela, some not funny Benjamin Button and Matrix references and the final opinion of the mediator, who says that the contract is solid but he cannot force Dwight to conceive with Angela. However, he does say that $30,000 in damages is plausible. This alarms Dwight. After another brief, humorless scene with Michael and Andy, I’m also alarmed. This episode is starting to feel like a dud. But luckily, the next scene with Dwight and Angela is funny. Dwight is refusing to pay but Angela produces an alternative contract. “Intercourse to completion (lol) five individual times rendered at my discretion.” reads Dwight. The mediator is sure that this is borderline prostitution but Dwight quickly agrees and the two haggle over Angela’s lumpy bed (“Those lumps are cats.”, she corrects) and “eye contact”. That starts the upswing in this episode, thank God, as the next scene is cringe-tastic Office goodness. Andy strikes up a conversation with the coach, who assumes the two are the gay fathers of one of his players. Andy goes on about marriage and fidelity, while the poor guy tries to do his job. Then Andy makes Michael get up to meet him and we are treated to the hilarious shot of the two shaking hands through a chain link fence. But Michael is still unfazed. When the two come back to the office, Michael tells the rest of the office that he doesn’t feel bad and will do what he wants when he wants, including eating a fistful of Meredith’s birthday cake (Office continuity award: in the first season episode “The Alliance”, Michael makes everyone celebrate Meredith’s birthday a month early to boost morale. The airdate of that episode? April 12th, 2005. The airdate of “The Chump”? May 13th. THAT is good stuff).

Dwight is then seen draping his groin area over a working microwave. What? He explains, while we watch him torture his nether regions further, that he will honor the contract but not give Angela “the good stuff”, basically roughing up the Schrute sperm. This show has a fascination with Dwight’s nads, it really does. So, while this is going on and Michael continues to be a selfish ass around the office (Creed: He don’t give an F about nothin’!) a worn out Jim and Pam are told of a secret sleep spot in the warehouse by Daryl, who speaks of it longingly. Daryl is almost like Yoda on this show, you notice that? Not in the way he speaks but just in the out of the blue wisdom and zen-like comments. I love Daryl. I would love to see more of him. Of course, Dwight and Angela meet at their old hook up spot for sex, which is right below where Jim and Pam are tucked in. While Dwangela argue over his bruised junk and kissing (“It’s not in the contract!”) the camera zooms in on a wide awake and quietly horrified Jam.

After Phyllis gives Michael the cold shoulder, Michael tells everyone that he doesn’t care what they think and leaves to go meet Donna at a hotel. But on the drive over Michael’s face shows that he has second thoughts and he returns to the office to grab two pints of ice cream. He explains that he broke up with Donna and it was hard but it was the right thing to do, as we see an annoyed Donna in her car receiving a text from him. Lol.. ah, Michael. I wouldn’t expect him to handle it any other way.The episode ends with a TV reporter outside the building asking Michael if the rumors are true. Michael launches into an apology which, luckily, names no names but then finds out about the printers catching fire. A nice lead in to next week.

So, there you have it. My final episode almost lost me but saved itself in the last half, going from “clunker” status to “Very uneven”. I guess I should be happy that it was the second half that was good. Hopefully, the season finale will be “all good”.