Life In The Office

New season’s greetings, LITO readers. After the fine premier, I was given the task to recap the second episode, “The Incentive.” While it had its moments, I didn’t think it was as good as the opener. But, I’m going to put a positive spin on it; rather than complain, I’m going to challenge “The Office” to double those good moments for next week’s episode. I think they are up to the challenge, and I won’t even have to promise to tattoo my butt to achieve this goal. (“B-Dog?” “Bob-Dog?” “S’up Dog-B?”)

First off, me no like cold open. I’ve never been a fan of the Kevin Malone character when he is written as a babbling, drooling, pants-pooping simpleton. And this is how he comes off here. To “save time,” he decides to talk in shortened sentences, because he communicates this way with his foreign-language speaking car mechanic. Jim and Pam immediately want to take him to the hospital, while Oscar dryly observes that Kevin’s act is an “ironic commentary on expectations of him.” I have admired in the past when “The Office” portrays Kevin in a much more realistic, subtle/stupid way. This latest “bit” seems to me to be lazy writing, and I nominate this as the unfunniest cold opening in Office history. Please feel free to dispute this nomination.

The show then gets going in earnest in the conference room, with Dwight leading the proceedings. He is unveiling the latest Sabre “product,” a pyramid-shaped tablet that is a clearly inferior version of the iPad. The Office has mined this “knock-off” territory before, with the “Prism Durosport,” a chunkier, cheesier version of the iPod that dopey Roy bought for Pam. Dwight is rather half-heartedly promoting the Pyramid, when Andy interrupts with more important business: which tie should he wear to impress the intimidating Robert California?

Then, the blustery California makes a grand entrance into Dunder-Mifflin, and “The Office” commences to do what it does best: Everybody begins comically sucking up to the boss. Erin misinterprets his beverage preference, and then bizarrely kisses him. Andy mistakenly calls him “dad,” and then proceeds to attempt to match wits with the CEO. Watching the wheels spin in Andy’s brain is pure pleasure, as he constantly gets it “wrong.” The entire office kicks it up a few noticeable notches when California is in their presence, and I find this to be very believable and enjoyable. Finally, Robert makes a hasty exit, but as he leaves he blithely tells Andy to “double” the branch’s sales. With typically misplaced goony bravado, Andy smirks that it is a “done deal,” which we all know it isn’t.

Andy then attempts to rally the troops by awkwardly climbing on top on Jim’s desk, knocking things off in the clumsy process. He really has nothing to say, but says it anyway as everyone else looks on stupified. Then his foot falls asleep. This is “The Office” that I know and love. Darryl’s ex-wife pays a visit, and after introductions to the staff, Darryl and his ex disappear into his office. Other than giving Darryl a few minutes of screen time, I can’t figure out what this scene was doing in the show. It probably portends something, but I can’t pretend I know what it portends. (pretentious attempt at humor)

Andy calls everyone into the conference room, and he shows them his table full of “fabulous” sales incentives; The collected works of John Irving, and various doo-dads of middling value, like desk fans and stuffed animals. Also visible is a vibrator, which was surely included for the, uh… “buzz” it would generate. Well, it kind of rubbed me the wrong way, as an unrealistic lowbrow cheap shot. Aw, maybe I’m just being crotchety, but I’ve aways admired “The Office” for not having to insert such “obvious” objects to garner audience titters. It didn’t leave me with good vibes.

Anyway, the staff soon moves on from the mediocre offerings, and the incentives escalate… and then, culminate with the promise of Andy getting a tattoo on his butt! Andy nervously agrees, and the Dunder-Mifflin crew springs into action to meet their goal. Which, of course, they do in no time flat. It was fun (and highly unusual) to see the office efficiently humming along, actually making, uh… sales!

The group gathers in front of a tattoo parlor, where Andy hesitates. Then he sees the wisdom in going through with this crazy act, as a team morale builder. The resulting tattoo is of a cartoon “Nard Dog,” and everybody is happy. A voice-over by Robert California reveals that (in his experience) people rally around an underdog, so there is some closure as to evil genius CEO’s master plan. This episode reminded me of an incident at my wife’s school a couple years ago. After the students reached a chosen reading goal, the principal danced on the roof of the school in a chicken suit. We have the pictures to prove it. The kids went nuts.

I didn’t think this episode was as good as the one last week. I’ve seen better writing on the show, and I fully expect to see it again. Those who agree, prove me right. Those who disagree, prove me wrong.

~ Robert