Life In The Office

I have a high school and college friend named Tony. And Tony has lived with us for quite awhile now. He’s pretty much a family member to my wife and I. He’s “Uncle Tony” to my son. Over the years, Tony and I have watched a great many episodes of a great many television shows together. 24. Battlestar Galactica. 30 Rock. Farscape. Firefly. Parks and Recreation. And of course, The Office. Tony and I have sat and watched pretty much every episode of The Office together since the third season. But last night, I saw Tony do something that I had never seen him do before. Midway through “Pool Party”, Tony got up and walked out.

Where to start with this one… oh, yes, the beginning, which got us off to a bad start. Jim, who desperately needs an audience for his pranks on Dwight, has discovered that Stanley is a fan of a particular gag. Not the dog dressed like Dwight, or the wrapping paper desk but… meatballs. Dwight’s desk drawers filled with meatballs. A meatball on his chair. His stapler encased in a meatball. As Dwight bemoans the meatball deluge, Stanley cackles happily. But later, at days end, we see Stanley slip into Dwight’s waiting car and ask “What’s the haul?” “Thirty two meatballs.” replies Dwight, raising two filled baggies. In a double talking head Dwight and Stanley crow about fleecing Jim. “That idiot’s been feeding us for a week!” brags Dwight. Oh boy. So Dwight and Stanley are eating meatballs that Jim has put on chairs and in desk drawers and wrapped around office supplies. You’re kidding, right?

Ok, on to the main nonsense. After reminding us that Andy has a girlfriend and that Erin is jealous, we learn that after Andy’s parents met his girlfriend they gave him a ring to give her. Whoa! Too fast, says Andy. But he seems to consider it… even though his mother took the diamond out.

In the main office, Robert California is looking at pictures of his mansion that is now for sale due to his impending divorce and grousing about the loss.  When Robert responds badly to Jim accidentally mistaking his tone for sarcastic humor, Kevin realizes that he is truly upset about the house and invites the entire office over for one last “Hurrah”. And Robert, for reasons known only to himself and the show writers, accepts.

Just yesterday on the LITO Forum page, fellow LITO-ite Bob and I were just criticizing the show for coming up with these ridiculously bad FanFic premises. And I didn’t even know what this episode was going to be about. I didn’t even know the name of it. I don’t read synopsis or episode titles anymore. So, yesterday afternoon when I saw that my episode to recap was called “Pool Party”, I actually cringed. And not a good Office cringe, either.

So off everybody goes to Robert’s house to enjoy his indoor pool. First, Erin learns from Meredith that Andy followed her home one night, concerned that California may take advantage of her. So Erin knows that Andy still has feelings. Then, at the house, Gabe makes a lame pass at the new girl (what’s her name again? I don’t even care enough to find out), who seems to react when Jim walks in. JIm starts to lay the groundwork for his early departure. He has a whole playbook. Take a picture. Say something peculiar that stands out. Note something unique, a talking point, that can be discussed later. “I don’t mean to brag”, he says “but, New Years Eve? I was home by nine.” This is actually very interesting, as I am always looking to get out of work parties and head home. This way, you can discuss things later and no one can say you weren’t there or didn’t contribute to the atmosphere. Very clever. But since Jim has a whole plan for this… you know it will go wrong. And it does, immediately. Jim takes his pic with California but is pulled into the house tour by Robert, who has not forgotten about Jim finding humor in his woe.

After Andy fiddles with his ring and hides it in his pocket from his lovely girlfriend Jessica, Erin makes an odd pass at Andy, thinking that he was going to give Jessica the heave. Realizing that he is still with her, Erin conspires to make him jealous again. Ok. After we see Daryl make a dopey opening comment to Val (apparently the only warehouser that was invited) and she says “You know, you are just as dumb at night.”(funny), we see Erin try to flirt with Dwight, awkwardly. As this is going on, Andy realizes that his pants (that he removed to sit by the pool) have been moved. And of course, the ring is missing. As Andy searches in vain, Dwight cruelly kicks Erin into the pool, which you saw coming a mile off. Commercial.  I look at Tony, who is getting restless.

The tour continues with Robert giving his commentary on the ribald, debauched  plans he had for each room and the boring domestic reality it became. He gives away bottles of wine to the Officemates trailing him from his sizable stash and endures the pitiful sucking up of Ryan and Gabe. Jim tries to leave again but cannot escape.

Erin explains to Dwight why she was flirting and the two really push it, with Andy completely not noticing. Unfortunately, Kelly finds the ring. It’s noted that the main diamond is missing but it’s still a find. Andy looks at the camera in despair.  Um…. I’m sorry but there is no other way to say this. Mindy Kaling has put on some serious weight. Wow.

After Jim fails again to escape, Meredith gives the line of the night back at the pool, saying “You guys gotta try this pool. No top scum, no band aids…. this thing is CHOICE.” Lol… that made me laugh. Thank God for Meredith. Val, looking slender in her swimsuit, partakes but an embarrassed Daryl holds off, still not happy with his body. Erin and Dwight try sexy (?!?!?!) eating to mess with Andy but change to another romantic attack: Chicken-Fighting. The two jump in, annoying Angela (is Angela still pregnant? Have they even mentioned that recently?). Andy declines the invitation to battle but Dwight  enlists the new girl who says “Ok. Who’s gonna be my partner? Where’s Jim?” Listen, I want to see more on this. It doesn’t have to be her coming on to Jim or declaring her love or anything like that. But something. Something that we, as an audience, can hang our hat on and feel is somewhat real. Another little crush but one that is doomed to go nowhere. SOMETHING. Not a little snippet that we see every 5 episodes. Come on. As it turns out, Kevin becomes her partner but the chicken fighting fails to register with Andy as well.

More rooms, more laments, but funny ones. Robert regrets having two bears sewn together to cover a king size bed and wishes that his large movie watching room had screened more “Caligula and less “On Golden !&@%#!! Pond.”

Andy does something that makes no sense. Instead of just telling Kelly that he lost the ring he tells her that it’s bad luck to keep it. It’s the ring of a failed marriage. She should give it to him so he can sell it and put the money into the office. But Phyllis decides the ring should be destroyed to spare any other women. Just then Jessica spirits Andy away for a chicken fighting duel. Come on. Just tell Kelly and Phyllis it’s his mother’s ring and he’s getting it fixed or something. Why the dumb lie? Boy. After the Andy/Jessica team bests the Dwight/Erin one, Dwight asks for a break but a determined Erin wants to win. She climbs back on Dwight and pulls his hair, pushing him to action. They fall but bounce back up, amazing everyone. They engage again but a cross eyed Dwight faints for some reason and the UNDERWATER CAMERA (yes, I said UNDERWATER CAMERA) catches Dwight as he sinks below the surface. I don’t even know what to say about this. The show has gotten so far away from a camera crew realistically filming a reality show that they don’t even care anymore. I looked at Tony and this was the point that Tony made like that Italian Cruise Ship captain and bailed, the episode apparently listing too much for his taste. Ooh. Too soon?

I struggle through the rest of the episode alone. Dwight awakens but doesn’t believe Erin’s lie that they won and attempts to crawl back into the pool. Meredith, Phyllis and Kelly make a small paper boat for the ring and set it aflame like some dead Norse hero. Dwight tries to make Andy jealous by discussing his plans for Erin but Andy doesn’t really bite. Dwight, for some reason calls him an idiot and leaves. Daryl finally overcomes his shyness and cannonballs Val, who is smiling. Erin rescues the ring, knowing it’s Andy’s by the “Bernard Family Seal” on it. She thinks he was going to propose but he clears that up, really only proving to her that he is confused about his feelings. I must say, if Andy dumps Jessica, who is very attractive and seems very nice, he is out of his mind. Completely. This Andy/Erin storyline just doesn’t really work for me. It ain’t Jim/Pam/Karen, I’ll tell you that much.

Robert and his tour group finally reach the pool. Jim still can’t escape because Meredith has blocked him in and put her keys in a bowl… I got a laugh there. So that’s like 4. Robert looks around at the nonsense unfolding in the pool room and realizes that one of the nights he regretted not having in his home was actually happening. As Robert strips to his birthday suit and drops into the pool (with a brown nosing Ryan and Gabe following suit), JIm says “And there’s my talking point.” and escapes by driving over the lawn (and a lawn light) in a desperate bid for freedom. The episode ends with Ryan and Gabe still sucking up into the wee hours, even after Robert falls asleep, neither willing to be the first to leave.

I don’t know anymore. It’s hard to accurately gauge the problems that this show has, because the heart and soul, the moral center of The Office, Pam Halpert, has not been in attendance. I said on the forums yesterday that I wasn’t really consciously aware that she was the second most important character on the show (behind Michael) until the last few weeks. I’ve always loved Pam but her absence is glaring. Only her continual presence can help right this show…. but it will take more than that to save it. In my opinion, it just isn’t working anymore.Things feel lazy and uninspired. It really needs more heart… and now.

Last night, I sat in stunned silence after “Pool Party” went off and then went downstairs to thank Tony for giving me the lead in for my recap. He laughed… but he never did ask me how the episode ended.