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kgreene
The Best Kind of Bear
Joined: 05 Jan 2007
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Location: New York/New Jersey
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jossifer
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Joined: 11 Jan 2007
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 Posted: Wed Jan 13, 2010 3:25 pm Post subject: |
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Hey! That blog's using Tumblr! I love Tumblr. My own lollipopvomit.com is using that platform, too. I might just have to add this guy to my Follow list! Thanks, Kevin!
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Michael: Early worm gets the worm!
Jim: Another worm? Like, are they friends?
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kgreene
The Best Kind of Bear
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Bob
Most Medium Suspected
Joined: 03 Jan 2007
Posts: 2488
Location: 2780 miles from home (Scranton)
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| Posted: Wed Jan 13, 2010 3:35 pm Post subject: |
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I looked this incident up on OfficeQuotes.net, and Sprinkles actually clawed bags of frozen french fries, not peas. So, that figures that this blogger friend of yours admits that he is not much of an Office fan.
I live outside Seattle, in the city of Kent. We have a great public library, and right next to the library is Kaibara Park. The most prominent feature of Kaibara Park is... (drumroll)... a large koi pond! I'll let y'all know if I ever fall in! 
http://www.ci.kent.wa.us/parksmaintenance/index.aspx?id=11174 |
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jossifer
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| Posted: Wed Jan 13, 2010 3:40 pm Post subject: |
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Oh, you! You don't have to do that!  Thank you lots for just visiting once, dude.
I'm going to sneak in a tiny Koi Pond story of Jeremy's: Yesterday while we were talking via jabber (gtalk uses jabber's messenger protocol), he told me he had just farted while he coughed at the same time. He's pretty sure his boss heard him, too.
Also, one time during yoga at my old office, someone farted very audibly in I forget what position, but I could NOT stop laughing! It made it reeeeeeaaally difficult to continue that yoga lesson. I never went back, even after my other boss begged me to join them. I didn't want to be the immature jerk who can't stop laughing at people's bodily functions. I can be that jerk at my desk!
_________________
Michael: Early worm gets the worm!
Jim: Another worm? Like, are they friends?
OBEY MY DOG!
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Bob
Most Medium Suspected
Joined: 03 Jan 2007
Posts: 2488
Location: 2780 miles from home (Scranton)
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| Posted: Wed Jan 13, 2010 6:31 pm Post subject: |
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| jossifer wrote: |
Also, one time during yoga at my old office, someone farted very audibly in I forget what position... |
Joss, it would really help me recreate this "koi pond" scene in my mind if you remembered the pose everyone was in. Was it the downward dog position? If so, who was the unfortunate downwind dog?  |
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kgreene
The Best Kind of Bear
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jossifer
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| Posted: Wed Jan 13, 2010 7:42 pm Post subject: |
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I know it definitely wasn't Downward Dog (nor was it Downwind; i c wut u did thar!). I believe we were on our sides, perhaps hugging one knee. Or maybe we were even just on our backs. I just know I heard the toot and I was struggling so hard to keep from laughing silently. Tears! There were tears, I tell you!
_________________
Michael: Early worm gets the worm!
Jim: Another worm? Like, are they friends?
OBEY MY DOG!
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Bob
Most Medium Suspected
Joined: 03 Jan 2007
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Location: 2780 miles from home (Scranton)
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| Posted: Wed Jan 13, 2010 10:52 pm Post subject: |
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| jossifer wrote: | | Tears! There were tears, I tell you! |
Joss, wouldn't it have been awful if someone (like your yoga instructor) had seen your tears, and tenderly said, "Now, now, there's no need to cry... we're all human, and we all have those bodily functions, so don't be ashamed..." 
I used to work with a guy behind the bar who would fart, but because the music was loud no one would hear him. So, all the people sitting at the bar would look like this: , and the guilty bartender would look like this:  and I would end up looking like this:  Once you are put in a position to have to deny that it was you, it just looks pathetic.  Even worse, it looks "koi pond pathetic!" |
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jossifer
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| Posted: Wed Jan 13, 2010 11:10 pm Post subject: |
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Oh, everyone else laughed when the guy farted, but nobody forced him to 'fess up nor did anyone point fingers and laugh. Our instructor, who was a friend of ours, just said, "It's OK; it happens, especially because we are all so relaxed." But yeah if anyone said it was me, I would have been like  and outright yelled that it wasn't me! If it was, I would have admitted it! I'm not like your co-worker!
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Michael: Early worm gets the worm!
Jim: Another worm? Like, are they friends?
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Donna
Friend of the Other Worm
Joined: 21 Dec 2007
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| Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 7:02 am Post subject: |
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I'm late to this party, but I had to chime in on a koi-pond moment of my...mother-in-law's! It relates nicely to Joss's yoga story.
I had hurt my knee (ACL) when I was newly pregnant with my first child. I was very nervous about how I would be feeling once I got "heavy with child". So, I began physical therapy to help me get better. We're lucky that our town has a satellite rehab office just a few blocks from my house. So, that's where I went. I had been a patient there about 3 weeks when my mother-in-law hurt her leg somehow and joined me at the rehab center.
Her first visit, she realizes she knows my therapist. He used to work at our family restaurant as a teen. Anyway, she's chatting away with me and him as he's putting her into positions to show her how to stretch out properly. Suddenly, she starts farting. Loudly. I was mortified. The therapist blows it off (it's natural, etc...) but then as he's continuing on with the therapy, she continues to fart, over and over again! I swear, she did it at least 5 times! She's embarrassed I'm sure, but she's laughing too. I guess when you're in your 60's, you just don't care! I, on the other hand, was mortified by her. I couldn't believe she didn't die of embarrassment! But not her! She still talks about it and laughs.
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kgreene
The Best Kind of Bear
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Bob
Most Medium Suspected
Joined: 03 Jan 2007
Posts: 2488
Location: 2780 miles from home (Scranton)
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| Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 9:42 am Post subject: |
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| kgreene wrote: | | They need to do an Office episode where someone farts loudly, like Michael, during a meeting. Then the rest of the episode he's trying to blame someone else or explain it or something. |
There's this scene in "Phyllis' Wedding:" Michael Scott is supposedly "calming" the bride's nerves as he tenderly rearranges her hair to cover her "bald spot." He gently says "Phyllis, did you break wind? It's OK if you did. It's a very natural reaction. It's your wedding." (So, then of course it's socially acceptable for the bride!) The scene ends with Michael saying "Wow... that is pungent..." as Phyllis denies any involvement.  |
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kgreene
The Best Kind of Bear
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Bob
Most Medium Suspected
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| Posted: Thu Feb 04, 2010 11:37 am Post subject: |
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Donna said something in the Watercooler thread that sounded to me like a bad pick-up line by Andy Bernard in a bar: "I bet your head is a happenin' place to be." That got me thinking about the bad pick-up lines that I hear a lot, which could be considered like dips in the ol' "Koi Pond." And then I just stumbled on this today:
http://personals.aol.com/articles/2010/01/11/top-12-failed-pickup-lines/
I'll see if I can come up with a good personal example, but these were funny, in a "Koi Pond-y" way. |
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jossifer
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| Posted: Thu Feb 04, 2010 11:53 am Post subject: |
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Ugh. Those were awful! /cringe
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Michael: Early worm gets the worm!
Jim: Another worm? Like, are they friends?
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Donna
Friend of the Other Worm
Joined: 21 Dec 2007
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| Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 7:27 pm Post subject: |
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Very funny! There's a song on the radio now that has funny pick-up lines in the lyrics. The one line that sticks in my head is:
"Call me Mr. Flintstone, cause I can make your bed rock"
Not sure if any of you have heard it or not. Here's a link to the video (I apologize if the video is a bit "much". I didn't watch the whole thing, but it looked a bit racy) so you can hear the song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ha80ZaecGkQ&feature=related
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Donna
Friend of the Other Worm
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| Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 7:31 pm Post subject: |
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I don't remember any men using pick-up lines to meet me when I was single. Most guys (in a bar situation) if they don't know you will opt to send you a drink. Wouldn't you agree, Bob?
The only time I've ever heard a pick-up line uttered is when a man is trying to be funny. I can't imagine who uses them as an ice-breaker. That's one ballsy (and probably unsuccessful) move!
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Bob
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| Posted: Wed Feb 10, 2010 11:59 am Post subject: |
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| Donna wrote: |
The only time I've ever heard a pick-up line uttered is when a man is trying to be funny. |
This happened recently, and like our favorite show "The Office," I think it is pretty "cringe-worthy."
I was talking at the bar with an very attractive twenty-something fight attendant, when a Kevin-Malone-type guy sat two seats away. He looked over and he grinned an astoundingly stupid grin at her. Strike one, buddy.  Then he asked me to ask her (even though she could hear this) if he could buy her a drink. She politely declined, and her uncomfortable body language was obvious. He then said "So you're a stewardess, huh?" Flight attendants do NOT refer to themselves that way. She corrected him in a flat tone of voice, and then looked the other way. Strike two. 
But this guy was NOT giving up. I was dying of embarrassment here because the scene has gotten so awkward. I tried some emergency "small talk" with the girl to relieve the tension, asking her the whereabouts of the rest of her crew. But then Kevin Malone moved in for the kill with this line: He said to the girl "You know, you look just like my first wife"... and as I looked on in horror, he delivered the punchline... "I've never been married." Then, he made his eyebrows go up and down rapidly, kind of like my blood pressure was doing at that moment.
I really like getting paid interacting with people, but I worked hard for the money that night. |
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Donna
Friend of the Other Worm
Joined: 21 Dec 2007
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| Posted: Thu Feb 11, 2010 6:52 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | He said to the girl "You know, you look just like my first wife"... and as I looked on in horror, Mad he delivered the punchline... "I've never been married." Then, he made his eyebrows go up and down rapidly, kind of like my blood pressure was doing at that moment. |
Oh Bob, how horrible for you (and the poor flight attendant)! I think it takes guts for a man to approach a woman he's never met before, but you've got to be somewhat socially aware and be able to pick up on non-verbal clues. If not, the poor guy is just stumbling into a bad situation. And it puts the woman in a terribly awkward situation as well. When you turn away from someone and try to give them the cold shoulder in a kind way and they still don't get the hint it's sooo uncomfortable! All of the sudden, this strangers misguided attraction becomes her problem! And that's just not cool. 
But in a situation involving alcohol (lucky you Bob) I'm sure many, many non-verbal social clues are missed!
They're lucky to have you to smooth over some of these situations. 
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